Coffee_Soul Corner

          It’s been such a long, long time since I last updated my blog.

          The last time I did, I was still in Brisbane.  Watched ‘In her shoes’ with the gang, wandered around Brisbane city, savouring my last moments in Australia. 

          Life has been pretty… really, actually, boring nowadays.  Nothing much to do except for sleeping, watching TV, surfing net and waiting for interviews.  I call it the zombie life.  Goes out with my soulmate once in a while.  Recalling with her how great life was, and day-dreaming together how we would love to runaway to the life we long for.  And you know I’m talking about you, HHK. ^.*  Running away is a truly good idea anyway.

          That’s all I have to write for this time I guess.  You know, brain has shrunk to the minimal since I live the zombie life. 

          To be continued…

          2 days ago, I went for a movie entitled ‘In her shoes’.

          Thought it’s some sort of crappy movie by Cameron Diaz again, but turned out it was quite an inspiring one.  The story is mainly about 2 sisters who are very different in attitudes and lifestyles, but nonetheless, are very closely bonded to each other.  Towards the end of the movie, when the younger sister read out a poem for her elder sister on the latter’s wedding, my eyes were tearful again.

          I thought of my younger sister, who is also quite different from me in many ways.  I imagined I’ll be tearful and touched too when she has finally found the man of her life and got married. 

          I never really realized how hard is it to be a mom, until recently when my sister gets elder and starts having her own life.  Sometimes when she hangs out at night, I’d worry if she can handle it if any situation occurs; sometimes when she clubs, I’d be concerned if she’d come across any bad guy; sometimes I’d give her my opinions about certain things, so that I know from time to time that she’s on the right track (though there’s no right or wrong in most things).  Nonetheless, I never want to interfere directly in her life and decisions.  I know that she’s mature enough to lead her own life and make a decision herself, and I have full trust in her.  All I can do, is just telling her to be good, and be careful.

          She’s going to college soon, and I’m sure she’ll have a good time there, and I’m sure she’ll be a woman with great confidence, charming personality, and bright future. 

          Till then…

          Hey, let’s go for ‘gui fu yan ha ng cha’ every weekend ya. Of course, can’t miss out Didi, who’s also my dearest and favourite cousin, and is just like a sis to me.

          ^.*

          Through the blog of a high school friend, I’m linked to other friends again.

          So many memories flash back to me.  Those days when we were the ‘jin gak gang’… those days when we played wacko in the class… those days when we had slumber parties… those days when we were trained for choral speaking… those days when we did that S-Club dance for Koko Day… and the ‘Charity Party’ in Form 2/3 (Stef, don’t laugh), remember? LOL

          Those days were fun man.  You guys were the coolest and funniest.  I guess I was very close with some and not as close with a few others, but mate, just the bond that we had as a group of girl friends… the feeling of closeness and sisterhood… really love that.  And nowadays when I think of you guys… *sighs*, we’re all around the world now, and as life goes on, we’ll all have our own lives, families and jobs… guess it’s unlikely that all of us can gather once more, and go back to the times where we were nothing but silly…

          Stef, Cindy, Yean Yik, Mei Wah, Yuk Shan, Jasmine, Su Ann, Su Ling, Siew Ling, Joyce (hope I didn’t miss anyone)- wherever you are, miss you and love you guys.  Take real good care of yourself, and hopefully we’ll meet again!

          I’ve been so busy lately, that I almost forget this touching and inspiring moment.

          I was alone waiting for bus at a station. Along came a young mother and her daughter, sitting on the bench next to me. I guess the daughter is not more than 4 years old, really cute and adorable, two little ponytail swinging as she walked. The mother sat the little girl on the bench, took out 2 buns and started eating with her. The little girl happily took her bun and licked the layer of icing ontop of the bun, totally enjoying herself in her own little world.   

          The mother was eating her own bun too, but eyes never leaving her daughter.  As the daughter looked up and smile at her mom, the mother looked back and returned her with a very loving smile. Suddenly my eyes were tearful (can you believe me?), deeply touched by just that simple smile (thank God I was wearing my sunglass). What a wonderful sight that was! I was witnessing such a beautiful moment… such a beautiful world of two! Just that smile, you can feel the unlimited interaction between the two souls; you can feel the selfless love that was surrounding them. And as I was watching them, I imagined the coming days: daughter growing up… having her own friends… having her own life… getting married… having her own children; while the mother, growing old, but the loving smile never fades whenever she thinks of her little daughter…

          Haven’t we all had that moment before? When we were still so young and liked to cuddle in our parents’ arms? When we would chuckle so loud when we were lifted up high? When nobody else we would want to turn to when we fell but our parents?

          They may be naggy and grumpy today; they may be demanding and controlling at times.

          But… Remember that once upon a time, a very loving smile used to appear…

          And that was the starting of a never-ending, never-dying love…

P.S. It may not be anything special to anyone… but…

I guess I’m missing home.

          The other day, I was walking alone to the university. Along the journey there were parents walking with their babies in their arms, or in the prams. The anti-war mother, Cindy Sheehan suddenly came into my mind, and I had this thought: What if GB and OBL were childhood friends?

          My imagination started to go wild. I saw GB and OBL playing video games and jigzaw puzzle together; saw them sharing their ice-cream and chocolate together; saw 2 little babies, with different skin colour, different language, different culture, but the same naive and innocent laughter.

          Will they still be enemies today if they were childhood friends? Would 911 still happened and Iraq war still triggered if they had known each other since they were toddles, where they didn’t know nothing else but, toys and ice-cream?

          Yeah, maybe I’m too short sighted. I coudn’t see what could be the consequences if whatever attacks were not carried out by whoever to stop whatever else destructive to happen. Don’t care what are the noble reasons behind these disputes (and of course, not to mention those un-noble ones). This is all about us, isn’t it? Then what is the point of preventing something destructive by doing something else destructive???

          I once had a friend told me, "It’s a process. The world is too full. Somebody’s got to sacrifice."

          And I asked, "But what if you are that somebody?"

          He said, "Then too bad. It’s destiny."

          I guess my IQ could never understand that.       

      Last night, I had a dream. A sad dream.

      In my dream, I was heading back to my hometown.  I was in the car, with my family.  We were driving home, and the traffic was terribly jammed.  It wasn’t until a moment later only we realized what was really happening: there were a lot of tanks along the road, troops of army lining up, all armed and ready to fire.  The aftermaths of terrorism activities have finally spread to Malaysia.  They said there were some bombs along the road, planted by the enemies.  It all depends on luck now who was going to survive.  Yes, the war has started, a huge one.  World war 3, probably.

      I turned around, looking at my families.  I held their hands, knowing that probably in the next second everything in front of our eyes would dissapear into a blast.  I thought of my love ones, how I haven’t got the chance to express to them my affection; I thought of my dear one, how I haven’t got the chance to hug him again.  It was a sorrow moment.  Knowing that your life is going to end anytime, knowing that there might be no future, no tomorrow, no next second.  No hope…

      And then, I woke up.

      It must be because of the recent terrorists attack in London.  I can’t help but keep thinking about the victims of war and terrorism.  The 911, the Iraq war, the London blasts… Can you imagine living in fear all the time, always expecting this moment to be the last moment of your life?  Can you imagine life where people don’t even dare to dream and hope for a future?  Can you even bear to think of never seeing your love ones anymore? Can you think of anything sadder than this- that us, human, the so-called most superb species of all, are killing each other?

      It’s really sad… Can’t think of anything more ironic.  We’re given the ability and intelligence to survive and to develop; and yet we’re using the exact ability and intelligence to destroy and to cannibal.

      What can I say more?

      May God bless everyone.

      Sometimes, I really can’t help but thank God again and again for all the blessings.

      I may not be the brightest, but I have the chance and ability to succeed; I may not be the prettiest, but I am well and healthy; I may not be the richest, but I have a warm and harmounous family; I may not have all the things I desire, but I am content with the things I am blessed with.

      Everytime I read news about disasters and misfortunes, I thank God sincerely that I am still here, reading the news instead of being the news.  I may be one of the victims in the war; I may be one of the starving children in poor countries; I may one of them with disabilities and illnesses; but instead, here I am, safe and healthy, blessed with loving family, ideal lover, wonderful friends and adequate intellect.

      It doesn’t really matter what your religion is, and who you are thanking.  For me, most importantly is that we are grateful for our happiness, and have compassion for the unfortunate ones.  When you realize that you are so blessed and lucky, you will feel it…

      What a wonderful world.

      :)

—> Love coffee (obviously)

—> Love books (used to be referred as ‘the bookworm’)

—> Love writing (in mandarin mostly)

—> Love music (not too noisy ones please. I’m old)

—> Love the combination of coffee+books/writing+music (= good mood)

—> Love food (who doesn’t?? :p )

—> Love wandering on busy street aimlessly (watching people… )

—> Love midnight (the serenity… )

—> Love to be alone at times

     The idea of "Coffee_Soul Corner" comes from my dream cafe, which will be named "The Coffee_Soul Cafe". The name is a combination of 2 nick names, and to me, it contains love, faith, trust, persistency, and fulfillment of spiritual and dreams. Hopefully one day, my dream cafe will come into reality, and then…

Welcome to Coffee_Soul